hate, anger, me

Lost in my translation

I start school tomorrow. Life seems to get better and harder at the same time. I wish at points of my life I could pause and relish in it.

The scent that brings my heart to a slow beat.
The colors that brighten my eyes.
The touch that makes life seem worth being around.

I am just going through so much with a lot of people.
To many of us go to fast and I refuse to give up.
  • Current Mood
    content content


So I actually start college on the 23rd of next month and I am so excited about getting to do a really hard six week semester and get a pell grant also.. Human anatomy will be a breeze. I am also thinking of taking religions of the world in the fall with probably one more class. that would be awesome i just don't want to mess up my classes because I am going to burning man.

Class is going to take up alot of my extra time. monday thru thursday 10am to 3pm.. yeah then going to work and all that good shite... awesome. I also got in touch with a publisher and we are talking over possibilities and suggestions for what it should look like.. This is good... I am very happy.

I am also blood wrestling on wens the 21st at bagg. So be there our be oval.!!!
  • Current Music
    oingo boingo- Grey matter
hate, anger, me

Let’s go for gold!

I can’t believe how angry I am getting over things that should not matter at all.(but I am good at hiding the things that count) I am pissed at this then pissed at that. Truly I am pissed at my self for thinking the way that I do. I feel like I lost control again in some weird awkward way. I feel like everyone I talk to is a backstabber and I know that it is true. I am so over being in high school and listening to everyone with out a life make fun of other people’s situation and just talk shit about someone they have never gone out of there way to actually get to know the other person.

Simply it is this. I am not saying that I am not guilty of the same thing but I don’t go out of my way to make the other person feel bad and then act like you didn’t do anything.

I always look like the ass and i know it but I am at my wits end here.

bad guy or good guy..

Does it matter. your going to judge me one way or the other right?

----------------------Another Note-------------------------

So once again I am looking for some one to help with reading over my book that I am writing.(Have been for a while now) I am going to be talking to a publisher and I have no idea what to tell them about it in the ways of be characterizing and particularized in a all together description.

So if you could help a little. text me if you know my number or email me dearraven@gmail.com
  • Current Mood
    drained drained
hate, anger, me

Why people should not be allowed to breed without a test.

Posted on sfgate.com today

12:59 PST SAN JOSE -- A 2-year-old boy was accidentally run over and killed today as his stepfather backed his pickup truck out of a San Jose apartment complex, police said.

Alexander Moran Cabrera died after being run over at 7 a.m. in a carport at 580 South 11th St., located downtown near San Jose State University, police Officer Enrique Garcia said.

Alexander's stepfather, Jose Luis Corona, 33, was preparing to go to work when he ran over the boy, Garcia said.

Corona had been warming up his truck in the carport. At the same time, Alexander's mother saw the front door of her apartment open and became concerned, police Sgt. Mike Sullivan said. She went outside to look for him, but the boy had already been struck, police said.

Corona is not facing charges, Garcia said.

Child-safety experts say young children often go out the door to see where their parents have gone, unbeknownst to the parents.

It is known as the "bye-bye syndrome," in which children experience separation anxiety and follow the parent outside to the driveway, said Janette Fennell, founder and president of Kids and Cars, a nonprofit group that advocates public education to prevent children from being killed in or near cars.

"Maybe this little guy has never been able to open the door. It could be the first time he's figured it out," Fennell said today. "But they are very determined."

Fennell said a child often ends up behind a vehicle because he or she can see the parent. "They do not have the cognitive ability to understand that Daddy can't see them," Fennell said.

On Thursday, President Bush signed a bill that directs the Transportation Department to issue safety standards ensuring that power windows in cars automatically reverse direction when they detect an obstruction, that cars have a rear visibility standard and that car brakes be depressed before a vehicle can be taken out of gear. It was not immediately known whether any of the measures could have prevented today's tragedy.
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious
hate, anger, me

Hicksmokeys birthday bash

As I have posted on myspace. I am throwing sir hick a birthday party that has a undisclosed location for the moment. If you would like to know where it is and you want to go, please get a hold of me so i can count how many people are going and so i can make food plans possibly. You can contact me via gmail. dearraven@gmail.com. and if you would like to help out that would be helpful as well. so contact me i will let you know the happenings and make sure that everyone is informed.

Also could you re post so all his other friends that i do not have contacts for find out as well. Thanks all.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished


I believe that Hicksmokey doesn't have a livejournal so I can post this..

On Feburary 24 on a sunday is Hicksmokey's birthday. I have got a secret location for said birthday and I am trying to do a little suprise birthday party shindig for him. It is so far Zombieish themed and Still needing extra things. Well for anyone that knows him I am going to have to ask this be spread about but not to him. The time for said party is not being release yet. So if you would like to come and help out earlier than when it starts to help set up. Please give me a email at Dearraven@gmail.com. I will email you back and make sure that anyone and everyone knows. If you know some of his friends and i don't know who they are on her then give them my email as well and tell them of this post please.

awesome, death

stupid work

so thinking that a rap show wouldn't have been a terrible night.. oh i was so worng i got a contact high and proceeded to freak out since i don't like to get high or be around it at that.. horrible times!
hate, anger, me


I am totally in nevada playing around for a couple of days out here with my best friend and a couple of friends...ie; little brother johnny and freaks... I took a greyhound bus here and it was so boring and i got to see a FIRE!!!!! I am just sitting here listing to Agonoize and hoping that today isn't over 115 degree's. But I want to thank rabbit for the awesome weekend with the bad luck party and shit!!! Love you honey hope to see you again this weekend and hopefully your mom is okay.. thanks for you guys being there for him by the way.
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    thankful thankful
hate, anger, me

I don't fucking care.

In the light of the past events that have been happeing around my person for the last month I have decided to say... I don't fucking care about how most of you "think" I am ior of anything that might contribute to that. I am my own person who chosses to be this way and if you can't deal with it I could careless.. 

For the people of the tribe RABBITRON:
 I know your friend hurts cause he is also my friend as well. Don't talk shit cause than you look like a douche bag expecaily when a perspective comes around to say this " One's perspective to a relationship is just that. A perspective ,but for it to be a trelationship there is two perspective and both should be taken into concideration". As for me, I refuse to talk about his and mines realtionship due to the fact that no one was there for it really except said people.. Love you to death rabbit but you know the truth in what happened and you should not blame people for the peoblems that we have in ourselves..

Maybe I am a "bad" girlfriend maybe it's that the gap between us in alot of areas just couldn't be fixed. but now it is over and all i can say is sorry that it went down so bad but i am not sorry for our relationship....

Let things lay where they are and things will progress on it's own.

  • Current Music
    agonoize- sick